Hershey. Tosh made a rape joke . - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better. said the cashier. Friend 1: Well, I don't want to go to hell. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! I hate Bounty Hunters. Are you ready? Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt. John Belushi, If any man has drunk a little too deeply from the cup of physical pleasure; if he has spent too much time at his desk that should have been spent asleep; if his fine spirits have become temporarily dulled; if he finds the air too damp, the minutes too slow, and the atmosphere too heavy to withstand; if he is obsessed by a fixed idea which bars him from any freedom of thought: if he is any of these poor creatures, we say, let him be given a good pint of amber-flavored chocolate and marvels will be performed. Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. Mr. Goodbar! Are you chocolate milk? Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. How dairy, who? You have this effect on me I only feel upon eating chocolate. Heres more compilation of incredibly delicious chocolate jokes for your amusement. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate. When I met you my craving for something sweet stop. Nuts just take up space where chocolate ought to be. My Ex-Wife was like a box of chocolate. Cadbury is an international chocolate brand that is loved by many. Hey, are you a conditioned stimulus? It is crazy, the way you make this heart beat faster the way only sweets can do to me. Apparently, Cadburys is making an oriental chocolate bar. If our research results continue to support a link between consumption of flavanol-rich cocoa and nitric oxide synthesis, there could be significant implications for public health. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. You have this capability of making my taste buds so happy and I love that. Knock knock! A: Theyre too hard to peel. "Mon, where's the magic?" ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Are you Willy Wonka? 3.14159265. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Darling, you are like chocolate, you make everything better. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. ", A race of aliens visits earth one day; they come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English. Want to share this lovely candy bar with me and possibly a lifetime? I go loco whenever I eat chocolate and you. I am craving for you more than I am craving for hot chocolate. Here, have some chocolate. They dont last long for fat people. I LOVED THE ONE WITH THE OLD MAN/YOUNG MAN PEANUTS! Drink it cold. Is your name chocolate, because you make my serotonin levels rise and give me a sense of pleasure. Get stuck in. Its not that chocolates are a substitute for love. It will not make you pregnant. Chocolate is a serious thing! He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Lets get right into the chocolate silliness and dive right in. - Dr. Are you chocolate spread? Babe, you look absolutely better when you take that wrapper off of you. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I probably have some sort of chocolate five times a week. Therapy Chocolate chimp! French cleric, 1620, Just think of all the wonderful blessings youve been given. (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) He turned into a box of chocolates. Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. He needed a chocolate filling. What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes? We can feel a lot of emotions when we eat chocolate. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. "yeah we know him he's the greatest isn't he? I dont like sweets but baby you are an exception to that rule. Imogen who? One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." One liner tags: Christmas, dirty, kids, sport. Momma always said life is like a box of chocolates. Your email address will not be published. Smorse Code. Bean = vegetable. We have plenty of pickupline ideas about chocolate for you to use. Why a carrot as a logo? My favorite thing in the world is a box of fine European chocolates which is, for sure, better than sex. Chocolate isnt a food, its a medicine an anti-depressant. So, without wasting the time, lets enjoy these jokes. When the three kids discover that a . I am only satisfied for the day because of a sweet like you. A: Chocolate covered aunts. Are your legs made of Nutella? Please sign up with your best email address. Peter Rogers, Ph.D., Institute of Food Research. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); For you I can be 100% made of sugar so that I will be enough sweet for you. Cao-cao! Why the Grinch wanted to live alone with his dog. Ideas for the top 101 chocolate jokes were taken from the following sources. I do not want a piece of you because I wanted the whole lot of you. The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be 105.". Stay out of those, said his wife, theyre for the funeral., A young girl was at the dentist for a check up. The doctor walks in and says, "I have some bad news. What is a monkeys favorite cookie? I always carry chocolate instead. He had a chip in his tooth. Make your lady smile with these jokes. Maria. So, Easter commemorates when Jesus hid eggs for the disciples to find, and then he turned all the rabbits into chocolate, right? Sure enough, nine months later, out popped? But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? Huh?I opened a Mars bar once.I discovered martians love gin.Life is like a box of chocolatesMostly disappointing.A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.The boy looks over and responds, My great grandfather lived to be 105.The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate?No, says the boy. A PayDay. Given enough chocolate and coffee, I could rule the world. . Laugh more: 87 Car Jokes That Will Drive You Crazy. Since Im all about chocolate, how bout a little sugar? I dont know about you but sharing this bar with you feels absolutely right. Yo mamma so dumb, if her brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill a M&M. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Plane chocolate.What kind of chocolate bar can you eat in a library? Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. Let's bake it happen! The tenth lies. A man goes to the nursing home to visit his 84 year-old father. Could be a Chinese Wispa. A candy baaaaa-r! Empty calories: A hollow chocolate bunny? The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. A chocolate bar. How dairy steal my chocolate! Why is a Toblerone triangular? To bake Star Wars bread, you have to use the bicarbonate of Yoda. I have a couple twix up my sleeve. Who is the sweetest man in the world? Because I want to take your top off and gobble you up. What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk? It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. We go together naturally like marshmallows go with chocolate. Ready for some chocolate jokes? The little boy looks over and responds, My great grandfather lived to be 105. Because you're making me drool. Heist cream! Deal? Dairy? Have you seen all jokes? 3. If you found these funny cookie jokes and puns ful-filling, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these: Baker Jokes. Dairy milk chocolate! So candy bars are a health food. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. Am i enough for you? I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Anything is good and useful if its made of chocolate. *wink wink*. When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts. All Rights Reserved. A little boy was taken to the dentist. Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. Please add a link to this article. You and me are the perfect batch. Chocolate Jokes Dirty Jokes dirty What is a monkey's favorite cookie? My wife hates it when I swap her chocolate bar wrappers around. Turn off the lights.I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. You make everybody happy like a sweet food. Whenever I look at you I see something more desirable than chocolate. Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. Change). What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say . ", A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar. Hello - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but women sure can! A handful of the funniest chocolate jokes will make your holiday celebration dramatic and merriment-filled. What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate? A chocolate baa.They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. Are you cold? He turned into a box of chocolates. Feel free to come to my inbox and share your thoughts! If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don't come running to . Babe I am so happy to see you, and this is definitely not a chocolate bar in my pants. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling . The segments were spun-out into their own series on June 13, 2003 (although the 2003-2004 episodes were also produced originally for Grim & Evil), and continued to air until November 9, 2007. The man asks, "Why are you doing that?