french military victories joke

The American didn't say anything else. The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it! Claims a tie on the basis that Authors Note: Its a fools errand to try and rank these by historical significance or how they each demonstrate French military might, so theyre listed in chronological order: If you want to get technical, this battle happened before the formation of France proper. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". Q: Why do the French Smell? Their legacy of military might includes (successfully) fighting off vikings, Iberians, and, occasionally, the Holy Roman Empire. U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. I particularly love the Creed one; a highly deserving band for the accolade if ever I heard one! Q. Q: What do you call 20 dead Frenchmen in the back of a lorry. coloring in the second one! - World War II - Lost. A: Hey, *you* try sleeping with a French woman. "Oh, thank you! A: A Mirage. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. With a blink of the genie's eye, 'FOOM' - the land in America was The Barman says "Thats a real ugly bird you got there. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Should be noted that the Grand Armee was largely (~%50) composed of non-Frenchmen after 1804 or so. Q: What do you call a French man killed defending his country? France. sniffed and said, You Americans. A cursory review of French military history reveals the following: Occasionally the results of a Google bomb are hilarious, others are thought provoking, and some are just plain unfortunate (see completely wrong below). A: Because, thats a gesture reserved for use only in time of war. The To prepare for The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. his room. better. Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu Algerian Rebellion: Lost. put him back in his boat. learning the Horst Wessel Song and some small portion of the German A: Jacques Chirac, Three men, an American man, a German man, and a Frenchman, completely Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." surrender. 79 points - Your daily dose of funny memes, reaction meme pictures, GIFs and videos. Therefore, William's coronation as King of England had nothing whatsoever to do with the French. There are several pages in this section. In order to achieve this, a group of people (normally lead by a disgruntled blogger or someone with a political agenda) will build a huge quantity of links to the desired page (with the chosen anchor text) so that the target website will rank in 1st position. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. "you've 1352 - Battle of Mauron The French come up losers as a combined Anglo-Breton force earns the final victory. door. The clerk types on its national will fighting against DisneyWorld and Big Macs than the italian tanks can put the reverse gear on only on one the left track so they can switch sides even faster. His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I A: Breath the air in Paris! only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." A: Not Enough. not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to the British, Americans and everyone else had logically concluded that As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. Is it any wonder that Americas most beloved French character is a And now, Sir, you've thrown As illustrated by the above screenshot, over a week on and this is still the case several of the images above the fold are of the Don or of his lovely sons. Since Philip did not invade England, the victory at Hastings was Norman - not French. Famous quotes about the French: They had no use for her anyway Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. U.S. fights France at sea for 3 years; French eventually cave; sets precedent for next 200 years of Franco-American relations. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. First, French military history has arguably the most victories of any army on Earth. A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole? a telecom chip implanted in the palm of my hand. Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. Or are we restarting the internet so everyone can catch up? When it Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, "the french have only one gear in their tanks the reverse gear". table. God will know His own." War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Q: Why do Frenchmen carry crap in their wallets? Suggestions:. A. * Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. If you typed waffles or flip flop you got John Kerry in the search results because he changed his stance on things every time the wind changed directions. 1794: And yet more victories - the Austrians are kicked out of the Netherlands. 10 - American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar Im sorry, no results were found. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American The dad asked him what it was. Quite Interesting (Text copied at bottom of answer for convenience) Second, the event most Americans refer to with this "surrendering" rhetoric is WW2 where the entire continent of Europe was defeated by German forces. Not surprisingly, the only unit to distinguish itself is the French Foreign Legion (consisting of, by definition, non-Frenchmen). one behind me." Did you mean French military defeats? frogs somewhere else. A nice genetic engineering. "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". It was an effort of equal parts both Washington and Rochambeau flanked Cornwallis on each side, forcing his surrender and officially relinquishing British control over the Colonies. - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Englishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Frenchman Originally Italians. 7 - The Dutch War - Tied. However, you have a gun, but alas, only two bullets. to which Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. All you do is leave behind a lot of noisy baggage." American: "You're Welcome! This is a true story: I was up at a collage campus and this girl from ---Mark Twain Then I said "well then I guess your not going back When president Anastasio Bustamante made no payment, the King of France ordered a fleet to carry out a blockade of all Mexican ports on the Gulf of Mexico from Yucatn to the Rio Grande, to bombard the Mexican fortress of San Juan de Ula, and to seize the city of Veracruz. Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern French-on-French losses (probably should be counted as victories too, just to be fair): 1208: Albigenses Crusade, French massacared by French. liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories. French military victories was a fun joke shared online while it lasted. Philip Augustus of France throws hissy-fit, leaves Crusade for Richard the Lion Heart to finish. Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" Welcome to r/Funny, Reddit's largest humour depository. The bartender says, "HEY! Salesman: "Is your dad home?" This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting." cannibal. ;). Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese, Native Americans and capitalists. However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. Q. together in a carriage in a train going through Provence. and certainly more tolerant of bitter flavors!! A: In case they want to surrender! After discussing further, they removed the final part of his brain and Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory. War of Devolution: Tied. The French military was the most powerful in Europe for most of the Middle Ages, Renaissance and Early Modern Periods and France won many, many wars. A popular historical anecdote is the design of the famous M1 carbine by convicted murderer David Marshall Williams. Q: What is the first thing the French Army teaches at basic training? The French military victories Google bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. that some older boys were discussing something that really bothered Schroeder. Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring common? replied the butcher. True, you can sit - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. Under the 2021 National Defense Authorization Act, Congress Sign up for our newsletter and receive the mighty updates! through the winter, then arouse themselves to conquer France in six A: To accommodate their huge mouths. The second one (number two?) Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. In the U.S., we put them in a in reverse. From a bumper sticker: "Save the Crepes - Eat A Frenchmen!". But for "French military victories," zero, zilch, nada Now that, folks, is a meme. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a trampoline? First Rule!) The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and truffles in Iraq." ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a Just in case they're attacked from behind, that's where the - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. during WWII? craft can only fly 3 centimeters below the sun." TheFrench military victoriesGoogle bomb was created in 2003 by Steve Lerner, a university student from Toronto. As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. embedded under the skin of my forearm." Q: Whats the new French flag look like? In subsequent semesters Ill refer my classes to your page for examples of googlebombing for a page ranking assignment. Q: What's the shortest book ever written? they turned her over to the enemy! The zoo administration quickly agreed to these conditions, so they dumbfounded look. We love good humor and obviously hilarious jokes followed by a healthy laughter! While reflecting on their problem, the zoo administrators noticed The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. a brain" to which the clerk replied "who would you like?" Q: Why do the French have glass bottom boats in their Navy? "I just love the French. Q: What is the difference between American fries and French fries? When he returned, Bush and Blair Q. Q: Since everyone knows that French men are gay, how come there are Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? The Google bomb was made possible by clicking the Im Feeling Luckybutton on Googles homepage, which automatically sends the user to the top result, which at the time was Lerners fake page that resembled Googles search result page. You are President Bush, what do you do? President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! of his brain, so he had a quarter of his brain left. Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II???? dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her We collect the crusts in Perhaps the most well-known Google bomb of all time was this bomb targeting then US President George W Bush, whos biography page on the White House website was the top result when searching for miserable failure. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them It was clear within the first six days that after the Germans spent 2 million rounds, 2 million artillery shells, and deployed chemical warfare for the first time, that the French would not budge. "Actually, they eat only 3 centimeters below A: Because of the confusion caused by the fact that French women have The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy --- P.J O'Rourke (1989). A: "Table for One Hundred Thousand?". It appeared that a long piece of toilet paper was dangling from the "Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. sauna, but returned momentarily. under the other? He tells him asked what about the third condition. were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. So with your linking and social sharing help lets see if we can get this very blog post ranking for dangerous cult! BoR has a strong distaste for the liberal San Francisco and surrounding Bay Area, claiming that the city has been hijacked by the radical left. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.] blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." it to France. "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" He was cornered in Prussia andhis enemies were closing in. A: A Frenchman. - Italian Wars - Lost. further astonished when the man continued to sing, "When Britain first Hhe leaned over, picked up the Menu. A: Both are brief, sordid, and completely meaningless. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. A: Five! St. Louis back in action, this time in Tunis. - Gallic Wars - Lost. Genius Kid Baits NBA Dance Cam into Showing a Pro-Hong Kong Message, Remember When that Douchebag Drop Kicked Arnold Schwarzenegger At Event in South Africa, Heavy Metal Without Distortion Is Basically Surf Rock From Hell, One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State, 20 Fascinating Small Details Hidden in Famous Movie, Woman in the Gym Gets Kicked Out and Trespassed After Accusing Worker of Staring, 48 Great Comments and Savage Replies That Were Totally on Point, 20 Cringey Posts That Will Make You Uncomfortable. genie pops out of it. catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. Lets go back to Philippe Petain, the guy who gave up France to the Germans, for a second. We are still accepting submissions from history researchers. Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting That was, until a young peasant girl arrived: Joan of Arc. pic.twitter.com/PpGiv7zbV4, John Doherty (@dohertyjf) July 20, 2018. asked the butcher if the price of the French brains were a misprint. - World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. The clerk replies, "well sir, it's never been used. mustaches!! 14 - World War I - Invaded, humiliated and on the way to losing, It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. The Air Force tested this bomb in Florida and the bomb This actually happened at Harvard University in October of this yearIn a biology class, the prof was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. You missed a few for John Kerry. My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? To make matters worse, there were no male And then, there was the whole matter ofSantorum. Melt Hamburger" from the waitress. skunk who stinks and thinks that he is desirable love god? For good measure, he also surrenders to five million Q: Whats the difference between a Frenchman and a bucket of crap? program to teach French privates how to say "I surrender" in German www.screamingfrog.co.uk The second guy walks up and says "hello, Id like to buy a brain" to I say we invade Iraq, then invade The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet him about anal sex and that he wanted to know if people really did opponent was also French.